I was getting my hairs cut, and my poor hairdresser innocently asked what I had planned for the afternoon.
Me: I canned some cherry jam, and it didn’t gel correctly.
Her: Oh, that’s too bad. Are you going to throw it out?
Me: No, I can fix it, so that’s what I’m going to do this afternoon.
Her: How do you do that? [Note that I am a Literal. I thought she was asking me how I was going to do it.]
Me: When fruit is ripe or overripe, it doesn’t gel as well as fruit that is underripe.
Her: [Deer In Headlights]
Me: To fix it, the jam needs more pectin, so I’ll mix up a balance of pectin, acid, liquid, and sugar that will counterbalance the lack of pectin in the jam.
Her: [Looking for the scissors to poke her eyes out.]
Her: Okay, Mrs. B. You balance your jam this afternoon, and I’m going to go get my nails done.
Both of us laughed at how different we are! She buys jelly at the grocery store, and I keep my nails clipped short.
And the balanced Cherry Jam Jammed!